Temperature

Today was the coldest day all winter. The wind chill was around -15, and apparently you could get frostbite in only 30 minutes. Also, it's currently only 63 in my apartment. Yes, I understand that it's cold outside, but that does not mean my heat should stop working!!!!! Somehow I don't feel like I'm too demanding to ask for an apartment that's insulated enough to keep my apartment at a reasonable temperature. Yes, I know it's cold outside, but you can fix the cracks around my door frame, and the growing crack in my door (I can now see daylight through it). And I know I'm in the basement and heat rises and such, but still. I don't like having to walk around with 2 pairs of socks and slippers, 2 pairs of pants, and a shirt and hoodie around my apartment! That's wrong.
On a happier note, I can now connect 4 circles in such a way that they are all linked and you can't pull them apart, but if you remove any one of them, they all come apart. If you want to see, I'd be happy to show you :).

the baker

gluten-free cupcakes with chocolate frosting, a delicious way to end the evening. After seeing 4 cakes and a pie at a birthday celebration, it was my turn to eat cake :).

Perspective

The past few days, I've thought a lot about the differences in perspective. Certain events can be seen as great tragedies to some, while simple events to others. Six inches of snow on the ground can be a blizzard, or a normal wintertime event. 30 degrees can seem amazingly warm, or really really cold.
Today, the skies are clear and the sun is out and the snow is melting. It's still rather cold, but it's the first bright sunshine I remember seeing since returning from break. It's beautiful! Especially compared to last night's snowfall and adventures in driving. I'm slowly learning what it feels like to be partially out of control of my vehicle. I must say it's not very fun, though I'm not a big panicker, which is good. I keep saying to myself, "Slow and steady wins the race." I find it easier to drive in reverse, rather than forward, if my wheels are spinning. It isn't a very good idea to pull the emergency break when you're having trouble stopping on a hill. You do stop, but you end up spinning ninety degrees. I found myself using my beginning skiing lessons about going and stopping to drive home. If you turn sideways (accidentally), you stop. If you go really really slow, it's easier to stop. Although, driving through snow falling reminds me of the Star Wars movies and going into warp speed. It's pretty fun to have that sensation when only going 20 mph.
Despite the winter adventures, my main reflections have been from my finishing of the Diary of Juliet Thompson (finally), and related things. I thought to myself, "Isn't it incredible that we have a historical account of all the time spent with Abdu'l-Baha by one of the early Baha'is! What a favorite she was!" Hearing all the stories of the many times she spoke with Him alone, the interest He took in her, very fatherly, and what it must have seemed like to the other Baha'is in the community. And then I realized that maybe many people had this experience, not just a few. Abdu'l-Baha was always known to be incredibly loving, and being able to see the secret desires of people's hearts. So maybe this experience wasn't unique, but common! But still it was incredibly special! And most people, I'm certain, did not have the chance to spend such considerable time with Abdu'l-Baha, but still it would have been amazing to live then and be able to meet Him and serve Him directly. Abdu'l-Baha praised Juliet for her love and sincerity that she shared with others, and for her honesty with Him. At one point, concerning her love for a man that Abdu'l-Baha did not deem it advisable, He asks her if she will transfer her love for this man and give it wholly to God. She responds that she will try, and He laughed at her response, that she first said that she would but then only that she would try. She responded, "That is because I have learned my own weakness. What can I do with my heart?" He was pleased with her answer, and I tended to agree with her sentiments. It seems that so much of the time we can't control our own hearts. However, later she realizes the while she couldn't control her heart, that God could, if she prayed.
I found myself in a similar situation, realizing that by myself I just couldn't do something, that I would try but wasn't sure of the possibility of success. I was begging God to get me out of a situation, when really I needed to ask God's assistance to help me succeed, not to get me out. Classes and homework have been really hard this week, after coming back from my interviews especially, and I found myself doubting whether I should really be here. After significant efforts on a problem set with no results, I tried praying again and realized that I had been praying for the wrong thing. God opened so many doors for me to come here, He's not going to just abandon me and let me fight my way through. He'll help me, if I only ask Him. I needed my perspective to change.
As a frequent observer of people, I've started to wonder what others' perspective of me is. In getting to know someone, one's perspective plays a large part in forming your opinion of someone. In Pride and Prejudice, that's especially true. You begin the book with one impression, and end with one entirely different. And I'm sure that is true in real life as well, to a certain extent. I know the person I was, I know the person I'm trying to be, but sometimes I wonder where exactly I am in that continuum. In what situations does which side come out?
In the past few days, I've been especially grateful for having so many amazing friends. Even though many of them are far away, I know I won't ever lose them. And I feel so blessed to have that be true (and to have a telephone!). And I really want the first two weeks of this month to hurry up and pass so I can see them! NEBYfest in 2 weeks, going home in 3 for the wedding, and then Ayyam-i-Ha and the Fast!

Winter fun

This afternoon, a couple of the math girls and I went on a tour of some of Ithaca's waterfalls... beginning with Cascadilla, then Ithaca Falls, and then Taughannock Falls. The perk was, they were mostly frozen :). Cascadilla was rather small, Ithaca was pretty amazing as most of it was frozen and it's rather large. And it was a pretty drive up to Taughannock, with sightings of the lake and the eastern hill and a field of deer grazing, ending up with ducks on the edge of Cayuga Lake and a spectacular view of the falls and frozen gorge. It was a cool way to begin the birthday celebrations. Then after lots of fun decorating my apartment, playing with party blowers, dinner at the Thai place, and then fondue and a movie, we discovered it had snowed! Silly me decides to try driving them home, straight up the hill. My all-weather tires decided snow wasn't included in that. I got two blocks up the hill in about 10 minutes, had a crash course in snow driving on the phone (thank you!), and made it back home. The girls decided they didn't want to join me for a snowball fight, so I had fun alone :).
I made 2 snow angels (because one just looked so lonely by itself), a snowman, a snow duck (to honor the ducks of the day), a snow mound, and a snow splatter painting on the side of my building. If you've never layed down and watch the snow fall on you, you should try it. It looks like the stars are falling on you, or you're flying through space. Little fairies coming to you. It looks really neat. And so is the sound of snow balls falling onto snow banks. However, I must say that snowball fights with the sky and a wall get boring after a while ;), as the sky's snowballs are rather tiny and the wall just has nothing for you. It is a fun sound. After a while, I decided it would be wise to go back inside, as I leave tomorrow to be interviewed for a few days, and I probably shouldn't be sleep deprived or sick. It's amazingly warm out though for the snow, which is why playing in it was so fun, it was so hard to come in. But it will snow again. And I challenge anyone to a snow ball fight! :)
By the way, Erin thanks for taking me to Ross, the gloves are amazing! They didn't see the ski slopes, but they sure make fantastic snow balls. It was so fun to be all suited up in my new winter gear :). It's just exciting and beautiful. Freshly fallen snow is beautiful... you hate to walk or drive on it and taint it. It's just a beautiful blanket. I took some pictures of my fun, as well as some trying to be artistic shots because the snow just looked so pretty, and you can find them here.

Snow, of course

Tonight, during the Baha'i Club meeting, we got about an inch of snow in just an hour or two, which made the roads the messiest they've been (still not too bad). There's a certain quiet with the snow though. It absorbs sound, or something. It's beautiful. I love the total stillness of the air. I first noticed it last year when skiing in Utah. But tonight, standing on my doorstep, I heard the silence again. Well, maybe I just noticed the lack of sound, depending on how you view silence ;).
And, I've officially been slipping and sliding now (though I was purposefully going about 2 mph). Let me tell you, you really pay attention to where the hills and potholes are when there's slippery slush/ice/snow on the roads. But I do enjoy the groaning of the wheels on the snow. It's a really cool sound, and unlike any other. I feel triumphant :).

End of a not so fun week

Well, this week was not at all what I planned, and I'm rather glad to have it behind me. After spending some quality time on my couch, I think I'm on the road to recovery. Word to the wise: try and avoid beginning your semester sick. However, despite being sick, it was a decent beginning to classes. My three classes this semester (Analysis, Logic, and Algebraic Topology) are going to offer a wide variety of difficulty, work, and mathematical thinking. It's quite diverse, as are my professors. I already have work to do, work I haven't started since I haven't really been able to think, though I've participated much more in class this week than I did last semester, oddly enough.
The good news is that I have found a place to live this summer only a 15 minute drive from work, I get to go to one of my Baha'i sister's wedding in February (I'll be in SC for the last weekend of Feb, those of you that are there), and I'm off to Baltimore in just 2 days for psychological assessment and polygraph tests. And in just three weeks, I'm off to NEBYfest to see some of my favorite people and spend lots and lots of time around books :).
I do have one note of thanks that I didn't live in Jane Austen's time... I have spent a good bit of time in Jane Austen world, trying to fill the hours on the couch. I watched Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility, and am now re-reading Pride and Prejudice. And while I do love the story and the writing, I'm very glad I have a hope in life beyond who I marry. Thank goodness for the progress of humanity.
The thing that made this week fun was the snow :). I've gotten to lie on the couch and watch the snow fall while wrapped in blankets, walk in the snow and admire all the snow on the ground. Last night gave us the most snow at once that we've had, and it was done to a very cold -15 degrees wind chill too. Today it's supposed to be a bit warmer, with a -11 wind chill ;). I'm loving the cold. I feel so alive. :)

Puppies

Last night, in my dream, I bought a puppy. Granted it was from JC Penny, but it was the most adorable puppy I've ever seen. It was so soft, playful, and loving. I loved that puppy, and I couldn't let go of it. I wanted to be holding it constantly. Then, after my time in the mall, I remembered that I'm not allowed to have a puppy, that my landlord would be upset. So then I realized I had to return it. At this point, the puppy starts crawling into my jacket pocket or my bag or all these little corners so that I can't find him to return him. I then find out that this poor puppy had some sort of abusive background and was scared of abandonment (or something like that, doesn't really make sense, it was after all a dream). So then I try to go to the store to return him, but at that point I couldn't remember which store he was from. It was only after having gone to several stores that I realized that he was from JC Pennys, not Macys or Sears. But then I woke up, before actually returning him. And the thought of that puppy is so comforting but also a bit sad to me, but it definitely made the horrible night just a little bit better. Yay for puppies.

Winter walk

This afternoon I decided I had spent enough time indoors, and even though the wind chill was -2, I decided to go for a walk. In the first five minutes, while still adjusting the scarf and my headphones, I decided I was crazy and wouldn't last another block. Once I started walking though, I loved it (and I even stayed warm)! I probably walked about 2 miles, admiring the snow and the cute little houses and loving the cold fresh air. I don't know what it is about cold air and me, but I do love it. It's refreshing, it reminds me that I'm alive. Maybe it's because there's such a stark difference between my body temperature and the air that I'm breathing... but I love it. There were snow flurries and a beautiful sunset, old places and new places, frozen creeks and such.

As I came back home, I thought I'd stop by the bottom of the gorge, and it's absolutely beautiful. Some of the falls are frozen and covered in snow, but amongst the frozen bits, the water is still rushing quickly. It was completely beautiful. And while I'm having great difficulties with my camera taking pictures in focus, I took pictures anyway :). Just to keep to remember how beautiful it is, to remind me come March when I'm ready for spring and winter is still here.