Perspective

The past few days, I've thought a lot about the differences in perspective. Certain events can be seen as great tragedies to some, while simple events to others. Six inches of snow on the ground can be a blizzard, or a normal wintertime event. 30 degrees can seem amazingly warm, or really really cold.
Today, the skies are clear and the sun is out and the snow is melting. It's still rather cold, but it's the first bright sunshine I remember seeing since returning from break. It's beautiful! Especially compared to last night's snowfall and adventures in driving. I'm slowly learning what it feels like to be partially out of control of my vehicle. I must say it's not very fun, though I'm not a big panicker, which is good. I keep saying to myself, "Slow and steady wins the race." I find it easier to drive in reverse, rather than forward, if my wheels are spinning. It isn't a very good idea to pull the emergency break when you're having trouble stopping on a hill. You do stop, but you end up spinning ninety degrees. I found myself using my beginning skiing lessons about going and stopping to drive home. If you turn sideways (accidentally), you stop. If you go really really slow, it's easier to stop. Although, driving through snow falling reminds me of the Star Wars movies and going into warp speed. It's pretty fun to have that sensation when only going 20 mph.
Despite the winter adventures, my main reflections have been from my finishing of the Diary of Juliet Thompson (finally), and related things. I thought to myself, "Isn't it incredible that we have a historical account of all the time spent with Abdu'l-Baha by one of the early Baha'is! What a favorite she was!" Hearing all the stories of the many times she spoke with Him alone, the interest He took in her, very fatherly, and what it must have seemed like to the other Baha'is in the community. And then I realized that maybe many people had this experience, not just a few. Abdu'l-Baha was always known to be incredibly loving, and being able to see the secret desires of people's hearts. So maybe this experience wasn't unique, but common! But still it was incredibly special! And most people, I'm certain, did not have the chance to spend such considerable time with Abdu'l-Baha, but still it would have been amazing to live then and be able to meet Him and serve Him directly. Abdu'l-Baha praised Juliet for her love and sincerity that she shared with others, and for her honesty with Him. At one point, concerning her love for a man that Abdu'l-Baha did not deem it advisable, He asks her if she will transfer her love for this man and give it wholly to God. She responds that she will try, and He laughed at her response, that she first said that she would but then only that she would try. She responded, "That is because I have learned my own weakness. What can I do with my heart?" He was pleased with her answer, and I tended to agree with her sentiments. It seems that so much of the time we can't control our own hearts. However, later she realizes the while she couldn't control her heart, that God could, if she prayed.
I found myself in a similar situation, realizing that by myself I just couldn't do something, that I would try but wasn't sure of the possibility of success. I was begging God to get me out of a situation, when really I needed to ask God's assistance to help me succeed, not to get me out. Classes and homework have been really hard this week, after coming back from my interviews especially, and I found myself doubting whether I should really be here. After significant efforts on a problem set with no results, I tried praying again and realized that I had been praying for the wrong thing. God opened so many doors for me to come here, He's not going to just abandon me and let me fight my way through. He'll help me, if I only ask Him. I needed my perspective to change.
As a frequent observer of people, I've started to wonder what others' perspective of me is. In getting to know someone, one's perspective plays a large part in forming your opinion of someone. In Pride and Prejudice, that's especially true. You begin the book with one impression, and end with one entirely different. And I'm sure that is true in real life as well, to a certain extent. I know the person I was, I know the person I'm trying to be, but sometimes I wonder where exactly I am in that continuum. In what situations does which side come out?
In the past few days, I've been especially grateful for having so many amazing friends. Even though many of them are far away, I know I won't ever lose them. And I feel so blessed to have that be true (and to have a telephone!). And I really want the first two weeks of this month to hurry up and pass so I can see them! NEBYfest in 2 weeks, going home in 3 for the wedding, and then Ayyam-i-Ha and the Fast!