Just thoughts

Yesterday, math blew my mind. I was reading along, annoyed with bad notation, then turned the page and realized it wasn't bad notation at all. In fact, two concepts came together that I never imagined! Crazy.

Rice chex treats are absolutely delicious (and rather addicting).

I dislike making decisions, especially ones involving spending money. And also planning meals. I love eating good food, I even enjoy preparing it a lot of times. However, the deciding what good food to prepare - that I have to force myself to do.

My prayer room is no longer 50 degrees (yes literally), so I look forward to being able to use it again.

Classes start next week, I'm already back at the office at least part time, trying to finish what I needed to over the break before the real work begins.

I think I want to start a book club, but I wouldn't know what books to suggest us reading. And I don't really like analyzing a book, just talking about the story and what parts I enjoyed, etc. I always hated English class, because I didn't like dissecting the book or coming up with themes or symbols. I just wanted to enjoy the story.

Malcolm's making new sounds when he sees birds. He literally squeaks. Then he chirps. Then finally, the third or fourth noise is closer to a meow. And this happens more often now that a flock of crows has decided to fly back and forth over our house all day.

Swing dancing will begin again next week. I'm looking forward to it.

Okay, I must plan meals so I can go to the grocery store tomorrow. Otherwise, my dinner tomorrow night will be just as eclectic as tonight's.

Beach Days

So we've been having some trouble with our internet the past few days, so I haven't been able to document beach days 3-4. No more dolphins have been seen, but we've had beautiful stars, many walks on the beach, and yesterday it was finally warm enough that I could go and just sit on the beach in a tank top. I love sitting so close to the waves that I can't see anything else but sun, sky, and ocean. The sun made the water sparkle so beautifully yesterday. Then, to warm myself up (as the wind was still pretty chilly coming off the freezing cold ocean), I decided to dance. There's just something about open spaces that brings out the ballerina in me. So I danced up and down the beach. I tried to find places where other people wouldn't be watching me, so I could just dance rather than thinking about performing. But of course the good weather and it being Christmas Day brought lots of people out, so I had to give that up. Still, it was fun to go back and look at my foot prints and see the places where I was on releve or landing from a jump, etc. And it felt so good. It just made me plain happy. Leaping into the air just gave me such a sense of freedom and grace, I can't let it go.
The whole family's together again -- my brother arrived yesterday evening. We'll have 3 more days here together, and then it'll be time to head back home. I'm going to take advantage of every moment to just look at the ocean, be by the ocean, and fill myself up for another year ahead.

Beach Day 2

Today, we got to see 7 or 8 dolphins in the channel between the two islands and walk along the beach as they swam through the water. They seemed very playful, and I even got a couple pictures :). It was a fun walk with the family.
I got to sit out on the porch for a few hours this morning, reading (finished my math reading for a few days) and just enjoying the warm sun. I know I have to get my fill before heading back to winter in Ithaca. I must say, I'm glad that I've missed the bulk of the snow they've had while I've been down south.
We did a speedy jigsaw puzzle and even played Dutch Blitz.

Beach Day 1

Today, we saw a beautiful sunrise from our top balcony this morning, and the clouds just made it spectacular. The moon was still out and made the contrast that much more noticeable.
Later, I sat out on our lower balcony, warmed by the sun, and ate breakfast, followed by some math reading. If I had to read math over the break, it might as well be overlooking a deserted beach, with not a cloud in the sky, and being warmed by the sun.
On our longer walk, we saw many a jellyfish, starfish, and crab, and even some things that we think are jellyfish eggs. They're an interesting consistency. The way the water sparkled in the sunshine was beautiful. The wind was quite intense though, so we turned around earlier than planned. Good times with both of my parents and my sister were had.
A walk at sunset was quite beautiful, and the wind had even died down for a little while. I found my favorite sand dollar of the trip (pictures to come), and had fun attempting pics of the sunset while enjoying it without the camera in front of my face too. It was so refreshing to just be by the water, with no one else around but my mom and I.
After a dinner of fresh GF brownies and popcorn, we settled down to a couple of movies. Then, we saw the clear sky of stars up above, and added another shooting star to our tally began last night. It's a very clear, but cold, night. We're all looking forward to it warming up tomorrow or the next day.

Winter Wonderland

Well, everything is very white outside, with spots of color where little pieces of car peek out from the blankets of snow. I had to dig my car out this morning, to get to the hospital, and it took me almost 30 minutes! Crazy. But it's pretty. :) I just don't know if I'll get to leave tomorrow or not, we'll see.
Also, I'm officially not lactose intolerant!!!!! Now I can eat ice cream and cheese and milk and things made with those things without any worry at all! I mean, I'm not even a little lactose intolerant -- my numbers went down instead of crazy going up! I'm excited, except that we still don't know why I've been sick.
And today, I get to make some of the most delicious GF brownies I've ever had, and take them to the second holiday party.

It's winter!

It snowed this week, every day. There's a nice thin blanket of snow on everything except the roads (the best kind of snow). Plus, I already have icicles on my roof :).

Today, when I came out of the grocery store, I noticed that I had a dead bird frozen to my trunk. This bird had been dead for so long, I decided it was a bird from its feet. Who has a dead animal frozen to their trunk? This was bizarre. The trusty ice scraper came in handy (I think I scratched the paint on the trunk but I don't care) and I went straight to the car wash.

My downstairs neighbor made me brownies with soy flour and they were delicious! I really like knowing my neighbor.

Chocolate mint lava cakes will be made soon, and they will be delicious too. I've grown tired of so many of my typical favorite foods, that I just need to liven up my cooking.

I really enjoy reading Eat, Pray, Love while at the gym. It's a great combination of activities.

Malcolm (my kitten) has discovered how to open doors that aren't latched. Even the door where I have a door stop holding it closed. It's amusing but terrible for the peacefulness and togetherness of my prayer room. Tonight, I amused him by putting his favorite toy in an empty tissue box and watched while he tried to figure out how to get it out. It was hilarious for me and probably very frustrating for him. He gave up eventually.

I get to go home in just 5 days. In the next three weeks, I think I will be in Ithaca for the same amount of time I will not be in Ithaca. And I cannot wait for the drive to SC! I need to be on the road.

Be OK

"I just want to be OK, be OK, be OK, I just want to be OK today."

The past month has been quite packed with unexpected and expected challenges. Two friends (under age 27) died within a couple weeks of each other, one a car accident and the other was murdered. Neither one were actively in my daily life, but they were still close to my heart. It's amazing how life can take such a different shape than we expect. I think I'm still processing and recovering from both of their deaths, and I definitely keep them and their families in my prayers constantly.
My physical body continues to challenge me, as I'm in and out of doctor's offices and outpatient procedure centers, etc. I had another endoscopy done, and woke up in the middle of it (yes, in that same two weeks). Let me tell you, I wasn't happy about that. I was eager for that day to be something that went well and gave us answers. I woke up with the feeling of a hard (I thought of metal) object all the way down my throat and in my stomach. This is not a comforting feeling, and the hospital didn't seem all that concerned about it. I'm fine, no complications or anything, but it just added to the things that didn't go the way I wanted. We basically found out that I'm still getting small amounts of gluten but not much, and that my stomach isn't happy. So finally, they decided there might be a pill that could help alleviate my symptoms. Meanwhile, I'm exhausted all the time and all they can figure out is that I have a Vitamin B12 deficiency. The verdict is still out on that one. And then, I'm on my 3rd cold of the past month and a half. I was sick for a week, well for a few days, then sick for another week and a half. I had a break for about 3 weeks, and now I've got another one. It seems that my body just can't catch a break.
During all of these non-school challenges, I'm attempting to learn a lot of math, plus more. I've felt constantly behind and overwhelmed, as the people I'm around are at least 2 years ahead of me in knowledge. But, this past week I heard that I'm apparently on track!!! I finally feel like I can draw a breath.
This weekend is going to be a weekend of fun, even though I'm sick, because I'm tired of sitting at home resting, waiting for my body to get better. I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I may just be sick for the majority of my life, and I need to learn how to balance that with the life I want to be leading.

I think I want to read "Eat Pray Love" again. I think I need to think about those things again.

Please pray for me

The past ten days have held a series of challenges and tests that I didn't see coming, especially not all at once. I don't really want to go into detail here, but please pray for me to have the strength to overcome them and the enlightenment for me to understand God's will in all of this.

"If it be Thy pleasure, make me to grow as a tender herb in the meadows of Thy grace, that the gentle winds of Thy will may stir me up and bend me into conformity with Thy pleasure, in such wise that my movement and my stillness may be wholly directed by Thee." -Baha'u'llah