Winter fun

This afternoon, a couple of the math girls and I went on a tour of some of Ithaca's waterfalls... beginning with Cascadilla, then Ithaca Falls, and then Taughannock Falls. The perk was, they were mostly frozen :). Cascadilla was rather small, Ithaca was pretty amazing as most of it was frozen and it's rather large. And it was a pretty drive up to Taughannock, with sightings of the lake and the eastern hill and a field of deer grazing, ending up with ducks on the edge of Cayuga Lake and a spectacular view of the falls and frozen gorge. It was a cool way to begin the birthday celebrations. Then after lots of fun decorating my apartment, playing with party blowers, dinner at the Thai place, and then fondue and a movie, we discovered it had snowed! Silly me decides to try driving them home, straight up the hill. My all-weather tires decided snow wasn't included in that. I got two blocks up the hill in about 10 minutes, had a crash course in snow driving on the phone (thank you!), and made it back home. The girls decided they didn't want to join me for a snowball fight, so I had fun alone :).
I made 2 snow angels (because one just looked so lonely by itself), a snowman, a snow duck (to honor the ducks of the day), a snow mound, and a snow splatter painting on the side of my building. If you've never layed down and watch the snow fall on you, you should try it. It looks like the stars are falling on you, or you're flying through space. Little fairies coming to you. It looks really neat. And so is the sound of snow balls falling onto snow banks. However, I must say that snowball fights with the sky and a wall get boring after a while ;), as the sky's snowballs are rather tiny and the wall just has nothing for you. It is a fun sound. After a while, I decided it would be wise to go back inside, as I leave tomorrow to be interviewed for a few days, and I probably shouldn't be sleep deprived or sick. It's amazingly warm out though for the snow, which is why playing in it was so fun, it was so hard to come in. But it will snow again. And I challenge anyone to a snow ball fight! :)
By the way, Erin thanks for taking me to Ross, the gloves are amazing! They didn't see the ski slopes, but they sure make fantastic snow balls. It was so fun to be all suited up in my new winter gear :). It's just exciting and beautiful. Freshly fallen snow is beautiful... you hate to walk or drive on it and taint it. It's just a beautiful blanket. I took some pictures of my fun, as well as some trying to be artistic shots because the snow just looked so pretty, and you can find them here.

Snow, of course

Tonight, during the Baha'i Club meeting, we got about an inch of snow in just an hour or two, which made the roads the messiest they've been (still not too bad). There's a certain quiet with the snow though. It absorbs sound, or something. It's beautiful. I love the total stillness of the air. I first noticed it last year when skiing in Utah. But tonight, standing on my doorstep, I heard the silence again. Well, maybe I just noticed the lack of sound, depending on how you view silence ;).
And, I've officially been slipping and sliding now (though I was purposefully going about 2 mph). Let me tell you, you really pay attention to where the hills and potholes are when there's slippery slush/ice/snow on the roads. But I do enjoy the groaning of the wheels on the snow. It's a really cool sound, and unlike any other. I feel triumphant :).

End of a not so fun week

Well, this week was not at all what I planned, and I'm rather glad to have it behind me. After spending some quality time on my couch, I think I'm on the road to recovery. Word to the wise: try and avoid beginning your semester sick. However, despite being sick, it was a decent beginning to classes. My three classes this semester (Analysis, Logic, and Algebraic Topology) are going to offer a wide variety of difficulty, work, and mathematical thinking. It's quite diverse, as are my professors. I already have work to do, work I haven't started since I haven't really been able to think, though I've participated much more in class this week than I did last semester, oddly enough.
The good news is that I have found a place to live this summer only a 15 minute drive from work, I get to go to one of my Baha'i sister's wedding in February (I'll be in SC for the last weekend of Feb, those of you that are there), and I'm off to Baltimore in just 2 days for psychological assessment and polygraph tests. And in just three weeks, I'm off to NEBYfest to see some of my favorite people and spend lots and lots of time around books :).
I do have one note of thanks that I didn't live in Jane Austen's time... I have spent a good bit of time in Jane Austen world, trying to fill the hours on the couch. I watched Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility, and am now re-reading Pride and Prejudice. And while I do love the story and the writing, I'm very glad I have a hope in life beyond who I marry. Thank goodness for the progress of humanity.
The thing that made this week fun was the snow :). I've gotten to lie on the couch and watch the snow fall while wrapped in blankets, walk in the snow and admire all the snow on the ground. Last night gave us the most snow at once that we've had, and it was done to a very cold -15 degrees wind chill too. Today it's supposed to be a bit warmer, with a -11 wind chill ;). I'm loving the cold. I feel so alive. :)

Puppies

Last night, in my dream, I bought a puppy. Granted it was from JC Penny, but it was the most adorable puppy I've ever seen. It was so soft, playful, and loving. I loved that puppy, and I couldn't let go of it. I wanted to be holding it constantly. Then, after my time in the mall, I remembered that I'm not allowed to have a puppy, that my landlord would be upset. So then I realized I had to return it. At this point, the puppy starts crawling into my jacket pocket or my bag or all these little corners so that I can't find him to return him. I then find out that this poor puppy had some sort of abusive background and was scared of abandonment (or something like that, doesn't really make sense, it was after all a dream). So then I try to go to the store to return him, but at that point I couldn't remember which store he was from. It was only after having gone to several stores that I realized that he was from JC Pennys, not Macys or Sears. But then I woke up, before actually returning him. And the thought of that puppy is so comforting but also a bit sad to me, but it definitely made the horrible night just a little bit better. Yay for puppies.

Winter walk

This afternoon I decided I had spent enough time indoors, and even though the wind chill was -2, I decided to go for a walk. In the first five minutes, while still adjusting the scarf and my headphones, I decided I was crazy and wouldn't last another block. Once I started walking though, I loved it (and I even stayed warm)! I probably walked about 2 miles, admiring the snow and the cute little houses and loving the cold fresh air. I don't know what it is about cold air and me, but I do love it. It's refreshing, it reminds me that I'm alive. Maybe it's because there's such a stark difference between my body temperature and the air that I'm breathing... but I love it. There were snow flurries and a beautiful sunset, old places and new places, frozen creeks and such.

As I came back home, I thought I'd stop by the bottom of the gorge, and it's absolutely beautiful. Some of the falls are frozen and covered in snow, but amongst the frozen bits, the water is still rushing quickly. It was completely beautiful. And while I'm having great difficulties with my camera taking pictures in focus, I took pictures anyway :). Just to keep to remember how beautiful it is, to remind me come March when I'm ready for spring and winter is still here.

Lost in translation

This Story People quote seems particularly applicable tonight:
"There are some days when no matter what I say it feels like I'm far away in another country & whoever is doing the translating has had far too much to drink."

I was just curious

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.

What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Home again

I have arrived back in Ithaca to begin my second semester. As I drove into New York state today, I was thinking of how I left it, what I was thinking, feeling, planning, etc. And now, as I come back to Ithaca, it seems somewhat foreign to me, but at the same time right. When I first opened the door to my apartment, I was surprised. I had forgotten how it felt to come home here. I must say it's pretty cool to be able to leave home and be going home at the same time, knowing that I have several more homes across the globe. My apartment seems strangely empty, and I hope that will change as I have Feast tomorrow and devotions on Sunday and see the girls on Sunday. I'm seeing this town in a whole new light. I came to some important realizations over break I guess, so maybe that's why the change in perspective. I must say that I enjoy the snow on the ground, the sun in the sky, and being able to use my trunk as a refrigerator as I drive around town :).
As I was watching a movie the other night, the thought crossed through my head that this part of my life would be the part that gets "fast-forwarded" through, or sped up. Just highlights of these few years would be shown. At first, I was thinking that I just need to get through these years to get to the "good" part, whatever that might mean. Reading a Christmas card from my grandparents, they just moved out of a house that they've been living in for almost 50 years. They are still so happy together and have moved to a new place where they will be happy as well. I find myself thinking, "I can't wait to have that happen for me too." Not necessarily the moving part, but the being somewhere for over 50 years, or have something happen for that long. I think I'm far too impatient for life to hurry up and go by. I'm not sure why. I just keep thinking, "I can't wait until..." Am I bored? Anxious? Unsure? Whatever it is, I've decided to change it. I had a fabulous break, one I would not want to fast-forward through, and I plan on these next few months to be just like that. I have no idea what is in store for me, but I cannot wait, because I know whatever it is will mold me closer to the person I'm supposed to be. "Hold me, mold me, make me, shape me, into what You want me to be. I open my heart to receive." This is one line of a gospel song that was stuck in my head for my entire year of service, and it comes to mind now. I like this idea. That every day God is shaping us. And the little I do know from ceramics, it's not easy to shape clay and have it retain the form. You have to do it with effort and many, many times.
It's funny. I can learn so much if I only listen to myself. I thought about things 3 years ago that I still haven't gotten. I can't believe it's already 2007. Three years ago I was polishing a candleabra from the Shrine of the Bab, saying goodbye to a friend, and thinking about sincerity. Sincerity seemed to be the theme of my year of service, and it's become very important to me since. We do so much in our lives, and it's so easy to just go through the movements of living, but it's something completely different to be thought and energy into things. To sincerely listen to someone, to sincerely want to help in whatever way they want, to sincerely greet someone and realize that they are an entire person with thoughts and lives and friends and family and a busy day, too. If we really respected and paid attention to each other, life would be so much more enjoyable. At the BWC, I was always happy to see everyone, whether it was someone taking out the trash, guarding the gate, answering the telephone, ringing up my groceries, planting flowers, running the copier. I knew everyone, and that made me happy. It always made me happy to see people. So, why not be happy now? Just because I don't know them doesn't make them any less important. Maybe that's one way that we can love everyone. There is a common theme amongst religions that we should prefer our brother over ourselves, to love every person on earth. Maybe this is just one step towards that. Recognizing the humanity and nobility in every person. Something to continue thinking about.

On the way back

Well, tonight I almost finished packing, and tomorrow morning I head back north. Today it was almost 80 degrees here; tomorrow I will end up at a place where it's close to freezing with snow and ice the next day being the highlights of the drive. It's been a wonderful visit here in Columbia, I have loved seeing everyone. It was almost like I was back, just being to able to hang out and watch movies and Gilmore Girls and walk to Moe's and just talk.
I just want to say that I absolutely loved The Holiday. In fact, I saw it three times, twice were free (high school friends with power are lovely). The movie had new meaning each time I saw it. I liked the reality in it, but also still the fantasy. And that's really all I'm going to say. Go see it. Then we can talk. I think I have filled my movie quota over the break. I have watched so much television and so many movies, I'm ready to head back and get to work. I'm a little nervous about driving on the ice, but I know that I will do okay. Slow and steady wins the race. I will be the turtle.
"Whatever makes you feel froggy." My new favorite Moriah line. It was very nice to see her, even though it was brief. I feel like my time in Columbia flew by. Some favorite moments to remember, in no specific order...
Time with Mellen and dinner with Prof K
Bashir wearing my sunglasses while investigating my car
China exploding all over the living room
Banana splits, Mayan Chocolate ice cream, and Gilmore Girls
Moe's and girl time
Charleston!
The Holiday
Giggles with the mom and sis
0 mod 4 song
All of the restaurant excursions (lots and lots of good food)
Marble Slab
New music and remembering old music
Skee ball!
Walking around Five points and campus with coffee or ice cream
Enjoying the far too warm weather for Dec/January
Catching up with so many friends from all over :)

"You turned me into somebody loved."

empty highway and me

Tonight, I drove 40 miles to Sumter, SC to have lunch with a dear friend, really a "big sister." The drive there was stressful, lots of traffic which made me run late, something I hate to do. Constantly recalculating every minute how much longer until I get there, how long I'm making her wait. But lo and behold, she was later than I and all was well. And then, we had an amazing dinner. The food was good, yes, and I got another restaurant off my checklist of places to eat before I left, but it was just so wonderful to talk to her. To review my past semester and everything that I've learned and been through. Decisions I've made, struggles I've endured... maybe even triumphantly. And I look back, somewhat chuckling to myself, amazed at how God guides our lives somewhere we can't even dream of. "Thou art more friend to me than I am to myself." As I look at these past 6 months, that phrase is so true tonight. God really is a better friend to me than I am to myself. And I am so grateful for that. It's amazing how He helps guide us to what is absolutely best for us, sometimes without us even realizing the significance.
After a while, we decided we both needed to get on the road. Driving home, the road was almost totally deserted, and it was beautiful. Just me and the dark road. I was listening to my music that my sister and I put together for our adventure to Augusta, and the song that my mom sent me a couple of months came on. I truly love this song, mostly because my parents gave it to me. "My Wish" by Rascall Flatts. It's a very sweet song, and I find it so reassuring. I talked about it back on November 18th too. I'll put the lyrics below in case you're interested.
After listening to this song, I realized that I hadn't prayed yet. Usually long drives, especially at night, are when I pray, especially singing prayers. I don't really have a good voice, so I don't usually sing around people or where anyone can hear me, but I do enjoy singing prayers. I used to do it in the far gardens at Bahji, the gardens near the Shrine of Baha'u'llah outside of Akka, Israel. The colors were always especially amazing in that corner. I loved the afternoons when no one was there and I could sing to begin my visit to the Shrine, to begin my prayers and meditation. So tonight I sang. I've gotten much worse since I've been out of practice, but it felt so good. I've had an interesting journey with prayer this break. It'll be interesting to see what happens when I return to Ithaca. But for now, I shall end this lovely day with some more prayer and then some sleep, for tomorrow is another day.

My Wish
I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

Gluten and gluten-free

Tonight we ate pizza for dinner. For me, I made mine; for them, they carried it in. And somehow my sister called me a something muffin. I don't remember the adjective at the time. Something like crazy, silly, funny, cute, etc. So, I jokingly commented, "Is it gluten-free?" And she replied, "Well, are you?" And of course the answer was yes. This got me thinking about the fact that not only do I eat gluten-free, this makes my body gluten-free. Originally, I thought, "My whole being is gluten-free," though really that mkes no sense since my soul clearly doesn't care about gluten. I was told, when first diagnosed, not to think, "I am a Celiac" but instead to think, "I am a person with celiac disease." The difference is subtle but important. I am a person. But I happen to have celiac disease. And oftentimes I try to downplay the significance of this. Bottom line is, it's hard. It's still hard. After 27 1/2 months of eating gluten-free (yes I know exactly because it's that big), in fact that's approximately 9.8% of my life. And by the time I die, that percentage will be around 75%. That's a big change, and that's a long time. Eating gluten-free is interesting because it's not really a handicap, but it feels like one sometimes. The difference is that if I were handicap, say my legs were paralyzed and I couldn't walk, then I literally COULD NOT walk. But, right now, I can "walk", it just wouldn't be a good idea. It's very similar to when my family was at the beach, and my sister and I were walking along on this great expanse. For any dancer, there's something that stirs inside of you when you're in a wide open space that makes you want to do all of your favorite dance steps until you just can't stand up any more. My sister, however, has hurt her knees so she's not supposed to jump. Several times I caught here about to start and gently reminded her that she shouldn't. For me, eating gluten-free is similar. There's something deep down that, when confronted with gluten-free food, says, "I want that! I deserve that! Come on, can't I have that?" and my mind has to say, "No that would be a very bad idea. You would be sick and hurt yourself for the long run." Similarly, my sister really wanted to jump, knew how to jump, but she would've hurt later that day and it could do permanent damage if it happened to much. Now, I know it would not be easy at all to be handicapped, but sometimes I wonder if it would be easier if I literally could not eat gluten-containing foods. Like, my mouth just wouldn't open. I see everyone else around me doing it, why can't I???
For a lot of things, it's okay. Like bread and biscuits and pasta and crackers and stuff, I don't really miss it. But, pretzels at the mall, homemade cookies, cookie dough, Subway, chicken fingers. Things like that I miss. And I don't know if I'll ever not miss them. But it teaches me a level of detachment. It helps me sympathize with those people that can't have those things for whatever reason... money, location, diet, etc. While I was in Paris, I found myself sympathizing with homeless people so much more, because I would walk along the streets and see all these people eating in cafes or eating crepes or sitting at restaurants. I would think, "I so wish that I could do that. I'm a person too, I should be able to do that." But I couldn't. And I got a glimpse at what it was like not to have the resources to be able to eat at a restaurant or in a special place. So I thank God for giving me that opportunity. And I know this has also helped me realize that I do deserve people's consideration and help. I never wanted to be a burden, or cause someone else grief or make them work, to serve me. I never wanted to be a bother. But, eating gluten-free has made others pay more attention to me. Whenever eating out, both my fellow diners as well as the waitress and the chef all have to consider whether I'm able to eat or not. And a lot of times, I get really tired of having to make the decision of where to eat (sometimes weeks in advance) and explaining to the waitstaff, and then having to eat whatever's gluten-free sometimes even if I don't really want it. But sacrifice is a part of life. And life isn't easy. And I know that I wouldn't have this issue if God didn't think I could handle it. I have learned so much from it. But sometimes, it would just be nice to have a break. I get breaks from school and breaks from homework and breaks from all sorts of things. But no breaks from paying attention to every single thing that I put in my mouth, on my lips, hands, hair, and face. "Constant vigilence!" to quote Professor Moody from Harry Potter. "Constant vigiliance!"

Straightened out

Yesterday afternoon, I jumped in my car and drove to Greenville to see my favorite chiropractor. It's totally worth the 2 hour drive each way to see him (and his delightful co-worker), since there is nothing like having your spine in alignment. The first semester of grad school was not kind to my spine, especially the hours hunching over a desk, but I now have a plan to counter-act this. Yay for foam triangular blocks. I had a very nice drive up, a very good visit, and I got to go to Whole Foods to buy the only gluten-free pizza crusts worth eating. As I was driving home I was thinking about how this really is the land I'm from. While born in Wisconsin, and trying to resist being a "Southerner" most of my life, this really is my roots. South Carolina has its own charm, and it's nice to be back here. However, not nice enough for me to be okay with the extreme humidity of the past few days. But last night was pleasant. I must say, I never noticed the extreme light pollution, especially in Columbia, until I had been in Ithaca to see the difference. I've been noticing how the sky doesn't ever actually get black, and then last night I saw the pink glow on the horizon before turning into grayness. I do love the stars and the dark night sky in the middle of nowhere like Ithaca, or the beach for that matter. We saw amazing stars our first night at the beach. And in case you ever need it, a long distance flashlight does very well as a pointer in the night sky. Laser pointers can't work, since they never hit anything, but flashlights work very well at pointing out stars.
Today was a very productive day. My mom and I ran errands and shopped and did very well. I got my car fixed, my Haifa farewell video on DVD so I can watch it whenever (instead of searching for a VCR), new clothes and sweaters so I will be warm when I return to winter, and some fun shoes. All in all, a good day.

New Years Eve

Every year, New Years Eve isn't what I expect :). Last year, I was almost ringing in the New Year in the Salt Lake City airport, but made it with 5 minutes to spare at one of favorite Utahan family's home. This year, I got to play with the little boys all afternoon before cleaning up and going to a very nice restaurant. And the best surprise.... I could eat there!!! And I didn't get sick at all! It's amazing, I loved it. And though I spent more money on dinner than I ever have before, it was totally worth it. And pistachio creme brulee is delicious!
Afterwards, I got to help create a rather delicious fruit salad, beginning with a trip to good old Publix. I must say Publix is disappointing after Wegmans, but there will always be a place in my heart (and stomach) for Publix food. The fruit salad was a big hit before and after playing Catchphrase. I was a newcomer to the game of Catchphrase, but it is quite exciting and addictive, a perfect way to end a year with laughter, excitement, and a little bit of thought (but not too much). For those of you that haven't played it, I strongly suggest that you do. It's like Taboo except faster, more unexpected, and the only word you can't say is the one your team is trying to guess. There's everything from beaker to Look Who's Talking to metaphor to Amy Brennaman to sonic. The New Year came while I was surrounded by new and old friends and lots of joy. Of course, there were a few people missing in person, but they were definitely there in our minds. It was great. Even hours after midnight, the celebration of the beginning of the new year continued.
There was talk about New Years resolutions at dinner, and I realized that I don't usually care to make resolutions around Jan. 1. Any resolutions, for me, usually happen around March 20-21, at the Baha'i new year, Naw Ruz. Those are the decisions that I put thought into, since we have the 19 days of fasting, reflection, and spiritual re-focusing beforehand. Even then, they're not really resolutions like, "This year I will not..." or "This year I will always" but more realizing the things I want to focus on in my life in the coming months. Another thing I love about the beginning of January is that Ayyam-i-Ha and the Fast are just around the corner. I will need to make new Ayyam-i-Ha traditions, since my family will be 800 miles away, but change is good. It keeps life interesting.
So happy new year to all of you I didn't get to see, and I hope this coming year is filled with joy, love, and excitement!