Home again

I have arrived back in Ithaca to begin my second semester. As I drove into New York state today, I was thinking of how I left it, what I was thinking, feeling, planning, etc. And now, as I come back to Ithaca, it seems somewhat foreign to me, but at the same time right. When I first opened the door to my apartment, I was surprised. I had forgotten how it felt to come home here. I must say it's pretty cool to be able to leave home and be going home at the same time, knowing that I have several more homes across the globe. My apartment seems strangely empty, and I hope that will change as I have Feast tomorrow and devotions on Sunday and see the girls on Sunday. I'm seeing this town in a whole new light. I came to some important realizations over break I guess, so maybe that's why the change in perspective. I must say that I enjoy the snow on the ground, the sun in the sky, and being able to use my trunk as a refrigerator as I drive around town :).
As I was watching a movie the other night, the thought crossed through my head that this part of my life would be the part that gets "fast-forwarded" through, or sped up. Just highlights of these few years would be shown. At first, I was thinking that I just need to get through these years to get to the "good" part, whatever that might mean. Reading a Christmas card from my grandparents, they just moved out of a house that they've been living in for almost 50 years. They are still so happy together and have moved to a new place where they will be happy as well. I find myself thinking, "I can't wait to have that happen for me too." Not necessarily the moving part, but the being somewhere for over 50 years, or have something happen for that long. I think I'm far too impatient for life to hurry up and go by. I'm not sure why. I just keep thinking, "I can't wait until..." Am I bored? Anxious? Unsure? Whatever it is, I've decided to change it. I had a fabulous break, one I would not want to fast-forward through, and I plan on these next few months to be just like that. I have no idea what is in store for me, but I cannot wait, because I know whatever it is will mold me closer to the person I'm supposed to be. "Hold me, mold me, make me, shape me, into what You want me to be. I open my heart to receive." This is one line of a gospel song that was stuck in my head for my entire year of service, and it comes to mind now. I like this idea. That every day God is shaping us. And the little I do know from ceramics, it's not easy to shape clay and have it retain the form. You have to do it with effort and many, many times.
It's funny. I can learn so much if I only listen to myself. I thought about things 3 years ago that I still haven't gotten. I can't believe it's already 2007. Three years ago I was polishing a candleabra from the Shrine of the Bab, saying goodbye to a friend, and thinking about sincerity. Sincerity seemed to be the theme of my year of service, and it's become very important to me since. We do so much in our lives, and it's so easy to just go through the movements of living, but it's something completely different to be thought and energy into things. To sincerely listen to someone, to sincerely want to help in whatever way they want, to sincerely greet someone and realize that they are an entire person with thoughts and lives and friends and family and a busy day, too. If we really respected and paid attention to each other, life would be so much more enjoyable. At the BWC, I was always happy to see everyone, whether it was someone taking out the trash, guarding the gate, answering the telephone, ringing up my groceries, planting flowers, running the copier. I knew everyone, and that made me happy. It always made me happy to see people. So, why not be happy now? Just because I don't know them doesn't make them any less important. Maybe that's one way that we can love everyone. There is a common theme amongst religions that we should prefer our brother over ourselves, to love every person on earth. Maybe this is just one step towards that. Recognizing the humanity and nobility in every person. Something to continue thinking about.