Be OK

"I just want to be OK, be OK, be OK, I just want to be OK today."

The past month has been quite packed with unexpected and expected challenges. Two friends (under age 27) died within a couple weeks of each other, one a car accident and the other was murdered. Neither one were actively in my daily life, but they were still close to my heart. It's amazing how life can take such a different shape than we expect. I think I'm still processing and recovering from both of their deaths, and I definitely keep them and their families in my prayers constantly.
My physical body continues to challenge me, as I'm in and out of doctor's offices and outpatient procedure centers, etc. I had another endoscopy done, and woke up in the middle of it (yes, in that same two weeks). Let me tell you, I wasn't happy about that. I was eager for that day to be something that went well and gave us answers. I woke up with the feeling of a hard (I thought of metal) object all the way down my throat and in my stomach. This is not a comforting feeling, and the hospital didn't seem all that concerned about it. I'm fine, no complications or anything, but it just added to the things that didn't go the way I wanted. We basically found out that I'm still getting small amounts of gluten but not much, and that my stomach isn't happy. So finally, they decided there might be a pill that could help alleviate my symptoms. Meanwhile, I'm exhausted all the time and all they can figure out is that I have a Vitamin B12 deficiency. The verdict is still out on that one. And then, I'm on my 3rd cold of the past month and a half. I was sick for a week, well for a few days, then sick for another week and a half. I had a break for about 3 weeks, and now I've got another one. It seems that my body just can't catch a break.
During all of these non-school challenges, I'm attempting to learn a lot of math, plus more. I've felt constantly behind and overwhelmed, as the people I'm around are at least 2 years ahead of me in knowledge. But, this past week I heard that I'm apparently on track!!! I finally feel like I can draw a breath.
This weekend is going to be a weekend of fun, even though I'm sick, because I'm tired of sitting at home resting, waiting for my body to get better. I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I may just be sick for the majority of my life, and I need to learn how to balance that with the life I want to be leading.

I think I want to read "Eat Pray Love" again. I think I need to think about those things again.