"in times like these..."

This morning, I went to the DC Baha'i Center for devotions, which were followed by a brief talk on life after death by an excellent speaker. I was reminded of the fact that one of the two things we can take with us to the next life is love. Not our possessions, not how physically fit we are or if we wore the top of fashion, but love. The purer the love, the stronger the bond. Not only should we spend time on developing our spiritual qualities, but also on strengthening the friendships that we have, the love that we share.

"That world beyond is a world of sanctity and radiance; therefore it is necessary that in this world he should acquire these divine attributes."

To be sanctified means to make holy, to set apart for sacred use. We are supposed to acquire sanctity, so I understand that to mean that I should set myself aside for sacred use. My life should be sacred. My focus should be holiness, not material gain.

She also said something which I had forgotten, or pushed to the back of my mind. If you're not progressing, then you're regressing. There's no such thing as standing still. I think that this summer, I've been regressing, since I surely haven't been progressing very well. But I've decided to change that. The events of the weekend have definitely taught me that I want to be different from many of the people around me.

I had a brief glimpse into what it's like to be seen solely as what I look like, and not who I am. I definitely had not been in such a situation before, and I found it so insulting it was a bit overwhelming. I couldn't begin to explain myself, I was at a complete loss of words for a while. After a little bit, I also learned that talking about the Baha'i Faith is one way that I can remind myself of my true identity and my true purpose, and draw on that strength that is inherent in me and was placed there by God.
This body is merely a tool, a vessel ;) (so you like my vessel? as someone I know likes to say). I should treat myself, and sought to be treated, in a way that preserves the sanctity of my soul.

At work, I feel like there's an unspoken allowance for being inconsiderate or extremely eccentric or antisocial or critical or flat out rude, as long as you're brilliant. But I don't think that intelligence should replace kindness, friendliness, or appreciation for the service of others. That doesn't seem acceptable to me, and I don't particularly want to be around that.
I've decided on a new course of study for the fall. I want to re-read Advent of Divine Justice, the Seven Valleys, and memorize the presentations from Book 6. I want to spiritually re-charge myself, re-focus my priorities, and relight the fire that I have slowly snuffed out.
I had another airport dream last night, where I had been in an airport and then gotten on a plane for one place, to try and get to my final destination faster, only to realize that where I flew to won't actually get me to where I want to be. I feel like this is rather telling about what I'm feeling towards school right now. I wonder if I made a wrong turn somewhere. The problem with being able to do anything is figuring out what I want to do. I feel out of place, completely, here. I cannot wait to get back to Ithaca, to feel at home again. No matter how hard it was, I still felt like I belonged there, for some reason (I don't know why). Honestly, I really don't know why it felt so right, but it really did. The reasons I got into Cornell have become more clear this summer. I had not appreciated the value of networking, and knowing people who know people, before this summer. It really is vital to early success. I have 10 days of work, a paper, and a presentation to do before I go home. Home to a place where all my actions are not judged, where I have the freedom to do what I want whenever I want.
On a more light hearted note, I got to see pandas yesterday :), and golden lion tamarinds. The National Zoo is really quite incredible. They give the animals much more freedom than I've seen at any other zoo. The orang utans have a jungle gym that spans across a portion of the zoo, where they can climb back and forth between two areas when they feel like it. The golden lion tamarinds have many patches of trees to play in, which cross above the paths where people can walk. I got to see the mother, father, 2 adolescents and 2 babies up close yesterday. They're really quite cute. And very family-oriented. Oh, and sloth bears are kind of funny looking. They really are a combination of sloth and bear. Pygmy hippopotami are goofy looking :). They look like a regular hippopotamus, but 1/10 or so the size. They spend more time on land, and have huge fangs/tusks (inside the mouth, which is why I didn't think they were tusks). But they like watermelon and potatoes. We were there at "dinner time" for many of the animals. Pandas immerse themselves in food. The bamboo was completely surrounding them, and I just went at it. It was adorable. They sit almost like humans when they eat.

"Real is harder to see in a smile. Tears break the seal of denial."

This is quite a hodge podge of thoughts that have been brewing for a while and come to the surface over the weekend.