It's been a long while

I feel like it's been forever since I posted, and much has happened in the past week. Today, I smiled a very big smile for the first time in a while, and it felt so good. All over a single phone call, speaking of Fruit Roll-Ups, blue and red sleeping bags, and an upcoming visit.
A big burden has been lifted off of my shoulders, and it definitely wasn't an easy process. Basically, I realized I was in far over my head in my analysis class, and it just wasn't right. As much as it was hard to admit that I couldn't understand math, that I was at a risk of failing, yes literally failing, it definitely was the right decision. I'm now officially in the undergrad analysis class, auditing the grad class so that when I take it next year things will make more sense. It's a bit of a blow to the ego, but we all need those, right? I'm definitely looking forward to the semester, it's going to be everything analysis wasn't last year, which is fantastic. It's really funny, we've basically turned things backwards... things that were our definitions of closed and compact and such are now theorems, and our theorems are now definitions. Funny how math works like that sometimes. And my lecturer is much much better, and easier to listen to at 8:40 in the morning. I now have class Mon-Thurs at 8:40 am. Not happy about that, but oh well. Do they not understand that my mind doesn't want to be thinking about analysis that early?
I gave my first quiz today, it was an interesting feeling. I proctor a prelim next week. I do enjoy this teaching thing. I kind of feel like a clown sometimes... a math clown... no not as in math jokes and tricks, but a clown that does math and tries to encourage and motivate others to do math.
Due to the intense week though, I am thoroughly exhausted and very ready for a break, so tonight I will eat ice cream, put gas in my car, get groceries, and settle down with fondue and a movie. Good evening, eh? The countdowns have begun. I will be in Maine in 8 days!!!! Seeing one of my favorite people in the world. In just 15 days, I will get to go back to the South and see many of those that I love. *sigh of comfort* How long it feels that it has been. It will be a very good fall break. It's funny. Last year fall break, I came up here, this year, I'm going back down.
One thought on undergrad vs. grad. mentality. At USC I was very actively and vocally involved in class, now I'm very happy to sit quietly, still think about things, but know the answer in my head, ask questions of myself to look up later, rather than talking to the prof about things. There's a certain relaxation that occurs when in grad school and pretty assured of my spot. No longer having to fight for my place. It's nice. I didn't realize I was fighting at all, it was just the way that I learned. But now, I'm quite content not to be at the forefront, but definitely silently assure the prof. I know what I'm doing.
So, just a few thoughts on this lovely fall day. It will be a fabulous weekend.